this boner is exhausting
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
