i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
