At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
