its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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