Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my shit smells like andre
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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