Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
