I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
