Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
