So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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