xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
