Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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