i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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