I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
