WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
