So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
