I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm just crazy horny about you
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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