i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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