God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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