Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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