your parents love me but you hate me
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Buhtt sex?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
