I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
