is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
