Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
