So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
