we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize