I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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