I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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