is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
