u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
