I will die if light touches me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
