How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
