we have officially lost it.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
