I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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