I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
