no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
