Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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