Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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