roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
