What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
