Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
