Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
