I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
