Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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