It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize