clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
