Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
