just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
