just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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