Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
