I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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