my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize