I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
