I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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