You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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