my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
